One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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