I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
