What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
