You really coming over, don't trick.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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