She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
