we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
