summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
