I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
