Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
try to milk me bitch
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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