Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
