I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
