So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
