Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
