Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
