God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
