You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
