this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
