Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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