hell yes lets make some ravioli
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
