i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Congratulations! We have a period
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
