drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Houston, we have a squirter
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
