dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
