Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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