Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
