he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
