Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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