I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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