...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
