if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
