So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
