Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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