He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
