The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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