And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
