Betty ford says i'm here all night
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
