Someone shit on the floor
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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