the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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