he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
accomplished twins. life is a go
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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