I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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