I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
