ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
