I just pynch a tree in the face
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
my poor anus
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sext me about skeletons
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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