my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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