So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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