i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
