whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
