It's just like the Real World with babies
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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