and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
