Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
