"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
