drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
