I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Found the puke drawer
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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